thoughts on a friend? and july fourth thoughts

she really is a good friend
sometimes I forget that
sometimes I avoid her because I feel as though I can't bad as good a friend to her as she is to me
sometimes I think she isn't such a friend, that she really wants what she wants only

yesterday she was sad, because her Mother in law took her kid with her on vacation
she wanted company, I packed up my three kids and went over
we stayed for a bit it was nice she didn't seem so sad, her boy is coming home tomorrow. I am equally understanding and jealous of her
no one takes my kids to Florida they wont even watch them while I go to the grocery store...except the one friend, she will. But I understand her sadness I would not be able to stand them to be away from me for so long. Yesterday she said that she thinks that my mother is the reason for my low self esteem! right out of the blue she said that,partly I want to say DUH and partly I want to know how she knows me so well when I don't really open up to her KWIM?
she also watched one of my videos and criticized me for shaking too much, I resisted the urge to tell her she sounded just like my mother She really is a good friend.

life is irony isn't it?


I am always of more than one mind
I feel so much at once sometimes it is hard to know how I really feel
I understand both sides in the Autism Debate
I understand both sides in most debates...well not politics so much, I just don't get McCain

I believe in Jesus, but obviously I don't go along with a lot of the things that other people who believe in Jesus do, to the point where I have trouble saying I am a Christian, I say "I follow the teachings of Jesus not Paul" ROFL My Christian friends pray for me to be saved. I think I am so "neener" LOL My non Christian friend call me "the religious one" Sometiems I am not happy about not fitting in, but right now I am feeling pretty good abotu having a handle on things

School starts in a few weeks

July ninth I have an appointment for Messy with the Children's Hospital
I have to say that I am no sure which appointment it is I forgot to write it down
So it is in Boston, but I am not sure if it is with epilepsy, genetic counseling, or hematology

Obviously I need to get more organized ROFL

I have decided that July 4th will be my new date
when I was a kid it was my favorite day of the year, because it was really the only time my siblings included me in play, we always went to a cousins house for the big family reunion and it was tradition every year! it was the only time I was treated like one of the kids, instead of "the baby" and I liked the cook out beach fun times stuff we did back then.

So next year on July 4th I will be able to post my yearly independence update

I will be more independent
I will be healthier
I will be more organized
I will be more happy

You will see I can do it!
I'm also going to try a 365 self portrait thingy

no promises there those things are hard :)