I don't think it's the word!

Jess
Originally uploaded by machris (Mary-Ann)

Ok I have been all for the whole ending the R word thing
I really don't like the word. a couple years ago I was at Target with my family, it was Mothers day and my family gave me a shopping spree for a gift and so we had fun as a family picking out clothes for me, and we made our way to the dressing room. Dennis sat out with the kids while I went into the room to try things on and Jess was in her hyper happy mode, and it was so embarrassing, she was loud and obnoxious but happy, We were new the the world of Autism and I was just then figuring out that whole "pick your battles" thing, Hey she is happy let her have fun who cares who it annoys KWIM?
So while I was in the dressing room I was working through in my brain, listening to her and telling my self "who cares if she is loud" when two teenagers girls came in, I didn't see them, but I could tell they were teenagers they were giggling and I wasn't really paying too much attention then they got quiet while my girl got loud, and I heard it "Oh she is SO adorable!" said the one teen, the other said "who?" and she said "That cute little redheaded R*****ed girl" It was the first time I had heard anyone use that word about my daughter, I've heard it a lot since then and it never bothers me as much as it did that first time. It took the air out of my lungs I couldn't breath for a second and the room spun a little, then I was overtaken with a real anger I don't think I have ever felt before, How dare they say that about my sweet girl! I quickly changed into my regular clothes and stormed over to their stall in the dressing room and said "She is AUTISTIC!!!!" and I left them there. I just continued shopping, didn't say a word to the family.


I've always been bothered by my actions that day, by my feelings, that why is it ok for her to have autism but NOT the R word?
Well then the special Olympics came out with their campaign to end the R word and I was all for it!

Now I want to tell you about the evaluation Jessica had at School, in it the paperwork they repeatably referred to her having an "intellectual disability" No big deal right, that is what Autism is Right? When I brought copies of the papers to our Developmental Pediatrician She really had trouble getting me to understand what it meant, she talked about IQ, But I didn't really hear what she was saying, she talked about her being like an 11 year old when she is 18...I actually thought she meant socially, it wasn't until, in her frustration she said "we used to call it Mildly Mentally Retarded but we are not supposed to use that word anymore" when I finally got what she was saying. Since that moment I have had mixed emotions, I think back to that day and I don't think it does make a difference that my child is "the R word" having your child identified by their disability is hurtful. hmm I still leave myself some room to learn more here, maybe I will feel different some day.




The other Morning I was at the Grocery store, it was just me and Moo, the five year old,She goes to afternoon preschool. we needed to get some food and a snow storm was coming, I know a snow storm is always coming LOL I got to the check out line and there was a woman probably in her 50s ringing up the groceries and a teenager/young adult girl bagging, the bagger said to the cashier "so what time are you going home?" the cashier said "three" the bagger said "I bet you'll leave before that because you hate driving in the snow remember!" the cashier said "well it's not supposed to snow until tonight!" Then the bagger said "What are you mentally challenged? The news said it would snow at Noon!" I saw the sting of pain on the woman's face I was taken aback I said "That's not nice!" the cashier just changed the subject "Oh I should buy some of that ice melt before we sell out of it!" *sigh*

It's not the word, it's the world We need to change!!!!!!  We need to stop teasing people in general, but we need to stop teasing people by likening them to someone who has a disability as if having that disability were the worst thing in the world! We need to be nice to everyone!



Oh the older woman was right, the snow came later that night HA!

We interupt this blog....

hearts
Originally uploaded by machris (Mary-Ann)

haha So I promised to blog more, and to cook more and blog about it, but my fridge broke and the school snow days.....

excuses excuses

I've been working on a blog entry but the laptop froze, I feel like my kid Mapboy I know what I want to say, but I can't get it out onto my blog LOL


anyway we will be shoveling, I promised to to not write until I get the driveway cleared LOL

this picture was taken a few years back, the paper guy left these tracks after a dusting of snow......gosh remember that? when you used to get dustings of snow???


Ok off to the snow....