explain this

Why is John McCain saying "the surge was successful"

different from "mission accomplished"



LOL Jo you crack me up!






DH is home he went to bed
I colored my hair

looks good, and I usually don't like it right away

woke up in the morning he didnt even notice it LOL

did I expect him to notice?

no

but you know who did notice?

















why did he notice that?

makes me wonder about the whole aspergers thing
aspergers kids wouldn't notice something like that right?

have a nice weekend

Ok no more whining

If I have to have this life
I better live it right

no more crap

no more depression
no more fat can't squeeze into my clothes depressed boring same old same old whiny pitiful weirdness

tired and depressed about being depressed and tired.
ROFL

for Jo
why I like Rosie O'Donnell

she doenst care what other people think
she just keeps on being herself

she is an artist

her art is raw and beautiful
she shares it

she is wacky and does not care what you think of her.


I am a lot like her but I keep in inside
I care to much what other people think
I keep my jokes to myself
I keep my poems inside
I keep my paintings in the closet
I throw my drawings in the trash
so I am nothing like her
KWIM?

happy Friday

Dh comes home tonight
he has been gone all week
I miss him, but I don't miss him too
when he his here I don't get to make the decisions
I really don't want to go somewhere this weekend where I will have to watch the kids while Dh gets to take his pictures everywhere.
I don't want to chase Messy around trying to get her to stay with us.
I want to go
I want to have fun

I do not want the anxiety

I'm tired of being responsible

when we were in NYC and we lost Moo at Central park

I did ask him to keep an eye on them while I took a picture of a flower
I had my macro lens and I was focussed on that when I heard Messy say "oh where is moo"
I looked up to see DH focused on another flower, Mapboy focusing on his own flower, Messy sitting in the stroller, and no moo anywhere.

I can't relax anywhere

last year when we went to Montreal and we were at the botanical gardens Messy was picking flowers and I needed to stay with her but Dh wanted to take pictures and Mapboy wanted to take pictures, I volunteered to stay with Messy while she did her time out and let the guys move ahead...I had moo in the stroller, messy on a bench
she was tantruming and really freaking out (who knew she has autism) so about 20 minutes later The boy came up to me "I can't find dad" So we went searching for him about ten minutes later we found him taking pictures...he didn't even know the kid was missing.

and that my friends is why I am always on edge when we go places
and why vacations wear me out.


I would like to go tot he craft store and stand in line and meet Rosie O'Donnell

that would be cool!

I still can't find my keys

not happy about not finding them

stinks

need to make copies and all that stuff

plus the digital photo album my sister gave me is now gone :(

can't get those back can I?

:(

I absolutely love this stuff from autism speaks

they just gave me permission to feel the way I feel.

No more guilt

the guilt is really making it harder to deal with everything
it's always "I feel really awful, but I shouldn't feel awful it could be worse."

Ok so I'm going to say it
Yes I am glad it's not worse

but it sucks
and I hate it
and I feel awful
and I wish it away


there I said it

more than that I am allowing myself to feel it and I am not pushing the feelings aside and trying to skip ahead to the next step

here I am!!!

OK first an apology to autism speaks

I went on and on about how everyone gives them money and they claim to help people but they are one of the places that didn't help us.

I am sorry because I did some looking around on the webpage
I clicked on the thing about people just newly diagnosed and what to do

WOW! first I have to say that I am sorry I didn't find this right away
but technically I did only just get the official diagnosis of autism so I wasn't lying when I said
we were newly diagnosed

they sent me a 100 day kid
a total and complete guide on what you should be doing in the first 100 days

OMGosh the list is huge and way to overwhelming for me to read it all just now

I do not do enough for my kid

but I will do more
Oh my I totally didn't know about most of the services they have listed here




*sigh*

so good news is that autism speaks is really awesome and I was completely blinded before
for some reason I didn't really see all that they do.

the bad news is....

there goes my free time ROFL

yes that was meant to be funny...who has free time anyway?
free time is over rated!

Messy told me a story at bedtime
I actually took a video of it LOL I might show it if I ever get the time to upload it LOL

"once upon a time there was a girl named messy ( we try to use the nicknames online)
and she went to school, she had a lot of fun
the end"

isn't that the best story you ever heard?

this is getting old

Monday night we went to Tennessee BBQ their food is good and cheap...the one in Framingham has free kids meals, but we went to the one in Peabody didn't knwo they didn't do the free kids meals *shrug* it was still cheap decided to go to Lowes because I needed a few things.

had my keys at the restaurant
was pretty sure I had them at the Lowes
I remember going to hit the lock button on my key chain, but DH beating me to the punch so I never actually touched the keys there

got home and couldn't find my keys to unlock the door

called them all no one has found the keys

where are my keys?
I even cleaned out my car...Shocked aren't you? still no keys

it really stinks if I need to get new keys made for everything
but besides that it is one more moment of me messing up

I just get really tired of all these screw ups

*sigh*

on a happy note
I planted my tomato plants into their containers today

hopefully this year the creatures wont eat them all :)

this year I got the grape ones, since they are Moo's favorite

oh more happy notes
some of the plants I planted last year are starting to show
Irises are blooming
the blue flowers that I forget the name of
the echinacea ..I have not seen a sign of the black eyes susans yet

I may go out and purchase a few plants since those are Messy's fave

hope your day is going well

can't wait to have time to actually get pictures of the flowers LOL

update on the kiddos

The one and only mapboy!

he is going to middle school next year!

Like his buzz cut? he got the buzz cut before the surgery, when we had a lump removed from his head..the surgery went well. Doctor said it looked good, we are still waiting for the pathology report but we are positive it was just an annoying lump and not anything serious :)



his ADHD seems better with the new meds

But we are working with a couple of doctors to make sure we have the right diagnosis.

no worries for now :)

Messy and the dirty face :)


She is doing well.
she has Autism....some weird brain activity, but we don't know what, and we are waiting for some tests to look into other things she might have...not worrying about it since it's not until July I get appointments.
I have learned that, you just make yourself sick wondering what might be...and you end up missing on the here, and now! So now we are working on teaching her not to run at cars, and teaching her not to empty the contents of the refrigerator onto the floor. :)

So we move on, she will graduate from preschool, and She is going to a special needs kindergarten next year...if the schools can make up their minds which one LOL she will either got to a special needs class, or one geared specifically toward ASD kids.




Moo and her dirty face

hey she is two
she is really good at the "mine mine mine" game
she wants to do whatever her brother, or sister is doing
and sometimes she is the instigator for the trouble making behavior

she is smart
she talks well
she can keep you laughing with her funny outbursts :)

we are working at the potty training
and learning how to recognize her letters

we are busy here with the graduation from elementary school, and the graduation from preschool...we are swamped

and I volunteered to do a few things for the school, that I really am not skilled enough to do, so I am quickly learning a few new software thingies ROFL

anyway that is why I am so absent


I'm sure you all missed me ROFL

someday I will be back to normal

I hope you all are doing well

my little great niece