happy Friday

Dh comes home tonight
he has been gone all week
I miss him, but I don't miss him too
when he his here I don't get to make the decisions
I really don't want to go somewhere this weekend where I will have to watch the kids while Dh gets to take his pictures everywhere.
I don't want to chase Messy around trying to get her to stay with us.
I want to go
I want to have fun

I do not want the anxiety

I'm tired of being responsible

when we were in NYC and we lost Moo at Central park

I did ask him to keep an eye on them while I took a picture of a flower
I had my macro lens and I was focussed on that when I heard Messy say "oh where is moo"
I looked up to see DH focused on another flower, Mapboy focusing on his own flower, Messy sitting in the stroller, and no moo anywhere.

I can't relax anywhere

last year when we went to Montreal and we were at the botanical gardens Messy was picking flowers and I needed to stay with her but Dh wanted to take pictures and Mapboy wanted to take pictures, I volunteered to stay with Messy while she did her time out and let the guys move ahead...I had moo in the stroller, messy on a bench
she was tantruming and really freaking out (who knew she has autism) so about 20 minutes later The boy came up to me "I can't find dad" So we went searching for him about ten minutes later we found him taking pictures...he didn't even know the kid was missing.

and that my friends is why I am always on edge when we go places
and why vacations wear me out.


I would like to go tot he craft store and stand in line and meet Rosie O'Donnell

that would be cool!