it's official I am the worst mother ever

when we were at the zoo, I noticed my boy jumping around in the water of the sprinklers

Gosh he looks pretty thin

So when we got home I made him stand on the scale.
It was Shocking! I truly gasped out loud when I saw how much he weighs

apparently he has not been eating food, and hiding it! I did notice that he has not been asking for seconds
I did notice he was thin, but how thin?


So I took him off his ADHD medication and I put in an email to his Developmental Pediatrician, it is so hard to get in to see her really


Now today I am looking over pictures of the summer and Man I didn't notice how thin he was way back

*sigh*

What the heck is wrong with me?

:(

The electric company

I wish it was still on tv

they used to play it on one of the nick channels at night and I would tivo it

my kids love it!

about Mosquitoes and a recipe for Mojito chicken

in an effort to rid my yard of mosquitoes the DPW is trying to increase the flow of the water


Ok it didn't work before


if there is something blocking the flow of the water at the bottom of the yard, then digging holes at the top of the yard will only increase the flow into the yard, will it increase the flow OUT of the yard?
no, just like it didn't increase the flow out of the yard the last time they did it. :(

should you tell them about the laws of gravity or should I?

meanwhile I am here the mosquitoes are everywhere

what is a mom to do, but have "cook out/eat ins"

Oh here is my


fantastic mojito chicken recipe

1 bottle of Bacardi mojito Malt Beverage
McCormick grill mates Chicken rub
Some dried mint leaves (optional)
salt and pepper to taste (there is salt in the rub so be careful)

a pound of boneless skinless chicken thighs or breasts



marinate the chicken in 1/2 the beverage

fire up the grill

sprinkle on the rub (you can rub a lot on it, but my kids find that too much so I just sprinkle a bit on each side)
sprinkle on the mint


put chicken on the hot grill and pour a little of the drink on the chicken (be careful rum is flammable) or you can just be safe and drink the drink while you are grilling the chicken, that works too :)

I'm telling you my kids gobble this up
don't worry the rum cooks away :)

enjoy!

pbj and Moo

Dh left tonight for a short business trip

it's always so hard on Messy
she was screaming at me to make her daddy come back home :(

I told her " instead of screaming you can draw a picture of what you want to say to daddy and I will email it to him" oddly enough she did

Now I did help her with the letters here, she told me what to say and I told her what letters to write..her "H" looks like a sidewards "E" LOL

Oh in the world of paper and crayons
does anyone know if paper with crayon drawings is compostable? I did some searching and I found one site that said it was ok, and one that said it wasn't :)
any idea?

thanks

well here I am a new woman

I have my new glasses
I will not give up on them, but my first reaction after two hours is that I HATE them LOL

but I will give it some time
I am an old dog who has trouble learning new tricks

OK reading from the bottom of the lens
computer from the middle of the lens
far away from the top

can I write the cheat sheet on the back of the new glasses?

kidding :)

I have not dared to use my camera

as a matter of fact I have that queasy feeling you get with new glasses sometimes
only more because I keep looking out at things the wrong way :)


here is a pic form the zoo last week
Messy loves the seals and they seem to love her :)

too bad I messed up most of the pictures

rainy days

Please scroll down and take my survey about puddles!!!!




































rainy days
changed our plans
staying home
candy land
video games
and spider man
summer is fun
but butterflies
wont play in the rain

The boy is counting his money
to buy a new video game
The girls are watching
Harold and dreaming of
Purple crayons
Me I get a get a few minutes
to look over some old shots

I really need to switch to autofocus
my eyes have gone to pot LOL

---------------------------------------

the rain zaps my energy
I wish I could take a nap

--------------------------------------

You know I was curious after getting some not so nice comments at the zoo when my kiddos were jumping the puddles.

Do you let your kids jump in puddles?

or do you think it's disgusting?
I have always let my kids jump in puddles

but now the therapist lady from Messy's school wants to work on getting her to stay away from puddles..I can see where she doenst understand the difference of my letting her play in a puddle and her running to a puddle on the play ground

but it will be hard to say NO!


The lady form the school says it's unsanitary and disgusting

when I was a kid you jsut jumped in puddles
everyone did it and you all got muddy and your mom gave you a bath
the world is different now

Please scroll down and take my survey about puddles!!!!

Sober Meditation

need coffee

http://www.criticallayouts.com/

YIKES THIS IS ME!!!!!

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

hehe I think Rosie O'Donnell would think this funny

My husband got a letter from Congress in response to having contacting them about some thing, the letter was on the official "Congress Of the United States" letterhead
a very important looking letter.

It's cool and he showed it to the boy and stressed to him how important it is to share your opinion with the representatives in office. You could see him saving this important looking letter right?

But now

I notice that the paper was in with some "about to be thrown away" papers that Messy has drawn her flowers and clouds and sunshine on "oops don't want to accidentally throw this one away" I scooped it out and went to drop it into the file box we use for such papers that I know Dh wants to save but I don't know where he wants to keep it LOL

on the other side

Messy has drawn all over it :)

although not as important as an Emmy I just thought it was funny

the story about her kids painting all over her Emmys is one of my FAVORITE stories :)

I'm not so sure Dh will be happy about her writing on it, but he does make certain exceptions for Messy so he may smile when I tell him :)

Want you to know I'll be away for a bit

If I can get the mobile blogging thingy to work I will but so far it has not worked for me

we are doing some cool things with the kids this week

and actually it's going to be busy until September isn't it?



I absolutely love my garden now

and the butterfly visitors

humingbirds are not finding me, but my neighbor went away for 40 days so I might just get some of her birds

the kids are doing great

Messys' meds don't seem to be doing a thing, which is good, I mean the first two days she seemed a bit grumpy but *shrug* so far no rash

:)

on we go!

all about Harold

I could fill up pages and pages of chatter about our trip but most of it is really not blogable if you KWIM
so we will talk about Harold
getting ready DH was trying to get the car packed and I was trying to get the kids out the door

I sent the boy out to the car with his video games and camera

Messy was clutching her favorite book as I sent her out to her daddy, She was very excited to be staying in a hotel it's her favorite thing.

then I had to find Moo's shoes..she is famous for losing her shoes...searching and searching and found them behind the couch, So I got her shoes on and was happy to see DH had the other two all ready strapped in and ready to goso I strapped in Moo in and off we went.

fast forward to bedtime

can't find the book, I was not really sure I did give the book to Messy and chalked it up to my poor memory.


Sooooo

guess what we found under the cherry tree?


---------------------

yes that is a slug crawling on it


a close up of the slug


I am hoping the damage is minimal




what are we going to do without Harold?






Messy's favorite page
she draws this often




so now I am off to amazon looking for a replacement

wish us luck :)

what a day

eye doctor appointments and ordering glasses

Boy there is a lot more involved when you go from single vision to the bifocals
WOW
I thought I was going to have to instill a payment plan

glasses are not cheap

and we got them at BJ's You know the doctor told me not to go to a discount place like BJs and gave me a few names of places to go
WOW I never really think of myself as poor but people really pay THAT for glasses?
i really have sticker shock I mean it is three times what I usually pay!

Red sox news Manny is gone can't believe it, you know my daughter Loves the games but she is always saying "go Manny" no matter who is up That is going to be awkward Huh?
a lot of people around here are glad he is gone, but I will miss him I really like him. I don't really understand the trade either, I used to study baseball and I would have known why it was a good trade, but i am out of practice, I don't even know who this other guy is we are getting...yes I am the same one who memorized all the stats of all the players in both leagues...yeah then I got a life, now I am lucky If I remember the pick up times for all my kids schools ROFL kidding of course I'm not that bad yet :) but I do have trouble remembering the redsox schedule


Tomorrow the plan is to go on a mini vacation to RI

the weather is calling for rain
DH is thinking of canceling

so maybe I will get my composter put together

that would be awesome!

off to the redsox blogs to figure out this trade thingy

If I don't "see" you, have a nice weekend!

pardan me for a moment..I need to whine a tad

So I have been looking forward to the eye doctors appointment

why?

because I have been having major issues seeing things, and I need bifocals
I admit it I am old give me the bifocals so I can read the instructions on the medicine bottles

right?

only problem the eye trouble I am having is nto the result of far sightedness

bifocals wont cure the problem

the problem is tha I have cataracts

mild early cataract far too small to warrant surgery

*cry* I feel like I can't see a thing and the dr said it will only get worse until it's bad enough for surgery.


this explains my photographing problems
the fact that I can never get the diopter right

I just want to cry and than God I didn't go along with Dh and start the photographers business LOL

Ok only good news form here on out


The eye issues could be worse, but I can still see

Messy is doing well on the meds so far



and we are going away for the weekend To RI

Today we attempted to go back to school clothes shopping

ROFL
what a joke
but a funny from the trip to the mall;

Messy went up to the rack and picked out a skirt that was her size (coincidence?)

Mommy I really like this dress, but it's 100 dollars so we are NOT going to get it.

hey it's not from a TV show, she hears me say this all the time ROFL

the skirt was 4.99 and we got it.

we saw a coyote in out yard

and this time it wasn't just me seeing it and no one believing me
it was DH who saw it

it didn't stick around long enough for me to get a shot of it
he was eating something but we are not sure what
those things are bigger than you think

Thank you Nicole for your advice I'm so glad I got it so I can be prepared the dr mentioned only the threat of a rash and other "minor side effects"
today was day 1 I will let you know.

thanks

a plan of attack

we will start her on Lamictal
we have a whole list of rules start her on very low dose and raise the dose slowly over 4 weeks
then we keep giving it to her for 8 months and have her evaluated.

we ended up walking around the city and finding a rose garden it was fantastic
I can't wait to get a look a the pictures we took :)
Tomorrow we start he medication.

Today we go to the epilepsy clinic

not worried
though I know this doctor made a big deal about her not having Autism
frankly I think he just so wanted it to be LKS and I am curious as to what he is going to say now that they have ruled that out. Two of the Drs are disagreeing this one we are seeing today, thinks she should be on Depakote for her seizures and the other one said she doesn't need it. we agreed with the one who doesn't think she needs it, since one of the side effects of that medication is thrombocytopenia...which means a low platelet count, which we just got over KWIM?

So it's going to be interesting
Dh is going to go with us, actually the whole family is going and Dh will sit with the others while I go in with Messy
then i think we might make our way to the public gardens

TV TV the evil TV

My mom used to say
"how to tell the difference between a good plant and a weed...you give it a good tug, if it comes up easily, it was a plant you wanted...if it is hard to pull out...it's a weed.

it's true you know

Ok so I need to give up some things
I have been slowly cutting out tv shows
I've cut out one show at a time and I've done ok until now
what show should I eliminate next?
I'm not watching much anymore
====
Daily show
Colbert report
desperate landscapes
countdown
local morning news
redsox baseball
the D list

I tivo the view but I almost never even watch it
obviously I've come upon the weeds HUH/

a little bit about Mapboy

MB...my boy, or Map boy
we call him mapboy because he loves maps, he has memorized road maps from all over the country
he memorizes other maps but road maps mostly and he can give great directions
I am the opposite, I have no sense of direction, I have to hold my hands up to see the "L" in order to take a left. I despise maps and until I had to because I didn't want my kid to think I am stupid I just avoided maps...now I am better LOL but I will say that I have actually contemplated calling the boy at school to get directions somewhere.

It is so much easier to get to new places with him in the car...and he loves feeling important, he loves having the answer so all is good right?

enter DH's new GPS he got from work.. today was the first time *WE* got to use it, everything started out ok.

We are going to a party 1-1/2 hours from our house Dh put the address in it tells us to go a different way that we would have gone...MB is interested and wonders out loud how useful such a thing is...I on the other hand LOVE it this is just what a person with no sense of directions could use...Dh showed me the usefulness of it by taking a wrong turn and showing me how it would quickly get me back on track OMGosh i would LOVE this thing.

I explained to Dh several times that this would be the perfect Christmas gift for me..I raved about the Garmin. We got to the party and had a great day, and then headed home...DH put in our address but as we were driving we stopped to get a coffee and MB found it funny that the garmin thought we were still on the other road and DH and MB had a bit of fun driving the wrong was and "messing with the GPS" I started to notice that MB was laughing just a bit to loud everytime he heard the word "recalculating" and after a bit he was watching it and it seemed like he was looking for a mistake to point it out. About halfway home I started to realize what was going on

the boy is jealous of the GPS is this possible? would I do my kid harm if I got a garmin?

the boy just totally blows me away with almost everything he does and now he is jealous of the little tiny computer on the window

interesting huh?

Ok now i want to tell you about last night

Dh came home fixed my internet connection
and we watched a bit of tv
then he went up to go on his computer and I watched tv for a bit

I fell asleep on the couch
around 11:30 I got this awful start, I heard a voice telling me to check on the kids
I ran upstairs and stumbled into the girls room, Half asleep, I tripped over the little plastic doll houses that seem to be multiplying in there, I can see Moo sleeping there with he jamas pulled off like always, no blankie in the cold AC how different my two girls are in many ways one likes no blankets, and AC the other is always cuddled in a comforter even when it's hot

and I look over at Messy and I saw a big old lump of her huge comforter something wasn't right
she always wraps herself up like that and truly nothing looked out of the ordinary,My still half asleep brain was telling me she was fine and I could hear her snoring under there, but that voice was screaming at me "check her!"

I went over and pulled the comforter off...I didn't see her at first, but I heard her snoring

OMGosh she had ripped a hole in the plastic cover that you put on a mattress to protect it if the kid wets the bed, and she CLIMBED INSIDE! she was completely covered in plastic!!!!!!!
I ripped the rest of it away and pulled her out she was fine, soaked with sweat and fell right back to sleep saying "i want my blanket"



ahh you all are going to think I am crazy when I tell you who the voice sounded like


yeah Rosie O'Donnell

sheesh
Dh thinks I'm crazy
LOL

well I lost 3 pounds

OK I know that is better than gaining three pounds :)
I'm not going to be disappointed :)
Ok I did have Italian food LOL


last Day of VBS coming up

i am so glad I went, but I am rethinking a lot of things now

I have been slacking off
I need to get back on track in more ways than health

I need to get back to church
I need to dust off my bible
I need to go back to doing devotionals with my kids every day
I need to pray more...not the hurried "please help my friends" prayer I do every day
the real stuff....I need to reconnect
Ok I certainly am not going back to *that* church but I found a nice church
Open and affirming, yet not totally disconnected from the bible
they like my kids, they are alright with our special needs.
they do believe in infant baptism, but they are not pressuring us to get Moo baptized
we want to wait until Moo can decide for herself, we wanted the same for the other two but we succumbed to the pressure of MILs and church people
and it's right in my town so I don't need to drive too far to get here

I also need to get back into therapy, since I quit the last one I've been not handling things as good as I should KWIM?

Dh is not going to like it but he will just have to deal with it

so glad to have internet back

need to get caught up with everything :)

DH came home

and two minutes later my internet was working

yeah I really am not very good at this computer stuff LOL

but I am back now

although tired :)

'night

sorry I have not been able to comment

doing ok

big storm today
big accident on the highway
big traffic
I had to go pick up the messy one at school
they called and said the bus woudl be at least an hour late

taking a parenting class type thingy at the vbs
Christian parenting
feel inadequate sometimes
wish I was a better parent



Boy is upset
someone said something upset him
I think he is over reacting, he thinks kid is picking on him
he hates kids and never wants to go anywhere again

this will pass

he was trying to be helpful and telling kid what he was supposed to do
kid said "no one listens to you" boy is hurt "He doesn't even know me, how can he say that no one listens to me"

no matter how I try to explain it
boy DOES NOT UNDERSTAND

Dr says he doesn't have a problem
he talks well
he follows conversation rules
he makes eye contact

I try to tell dr
He has no friends
no one plays with him
no one invites him to parties
no one accepts invitations

My boy is clueless
I have had to explain to him why he can't go over his friends house because the other boy's father won't let him there, because when he did something wrong he didn't apologize, and when told to apologize he laughed while doing it! My boy didn't even know the dad was mad at him.

frankly the dad who was mad was too sensitive but still

*sigh*

aspergers

I don't care what the drs say

I want him in the socialization class

how can I get him in without a diagnosis?

any ideas?

thanks

got most of the school supplies for the boy

Man they need a lot more in middle school!

now what does one need in Kindergarten?

those teachers are not so good at giving lists

:)

I miss my internet

but I'm getting stuff done :)

hope you all are doing well

Wednesday
trash day
hump Day

VBS is going well

Moo is having a blast!
The boy is having a blast

:)

I haven't watched the news all week

how is the world doing?

my internet is down

clueless on how to fix it
DH will be home next week

whatever I can't do with the blackberry will have to wait

stormy storm

Messy doesn't like thunder
it's going to be a long night
DH just left for a trip, he will be back on Friday
The good things of DH being away

hmmm
we get to have Italian food :)
quiet house, no yelling at the boy, about stupid stuff
We can put butter on our veggies
popcorn
chick movies
TV shows
sleeping without AC yay!

tomorrow we start VBS
I am not sure how I will manage it, but I will try :)

7:00AM Messy on the bus
8:00AM report to VBS
8:30 -12:00 VBS and mom's group
10:30 Messy off the bus

so I can leave the moms thing early but I'm not supposed to leave Moo there because they are not allowed to let moms leave the building, so do I get Moo from her class early every day, or do I just keep moo with me
I'll figure it out there I guess

VBS doesn't have the umph it used to have for me, I wasn't even going to do it, but boy the boy is very excited to see his homeschooled buddies again

special note...this VBS last year, was the FIRST time anyone said the word Autism to me in regards to my daughter...boy how have we grown.

and we learned that asking your kid to be looked at because you don't think she does things the way she should doenst work, but saying "someone said they think she has Autism" sure got the wheels turning.

look at that the thunder has stopped and the kid is quiet

maybe the night wont be so bad after all :)

mini golf, and forgiveness

some of you who read my blog know the trouble I had with my SIL about three years ago.
I'm not going to go into detail, but it was a combination of her learning to be humble and deal with reality, and me learning...what did I learn from all that? too much to mention it all here, it is true what they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

we have all changed so much since then
She is independent and has a new guy she is seeing and is so happy!

Me I had a baby, gave up homeschooling, learned my boy has ADHD, learned my girl has Autism
figured out that I was pushing my way to my own misery and broke free from my chains.
I am so much happier now.

Now we have patched up our problems since then we talked about how sorry we were and forgave each other, but yesterday was the first time we did something social with her

we met for dinner at a Mexican place, and then went to mini-golf

we all had a fun time

if three years ago you would have told me that yesterday I would be playing mini-golf with my SIL and her BF and I would enjoy it. I would have deemed you insane! I'm not saying I would invite her to move in...but we had a good time I actually like her now and enjoy talking with her.

funny how we change huh?

about Mini golf LOL
we go there and a signed balls and clubs and went to the practice green, taught Messy how to hit the ball, Moo didn't even need to be shown, she just started hitting the ball LOL until someone said "go head put the ball in the hole" she looked up, dropped the club, picked up the ball and ran over to the hole and put it in ROFL we had a good laugh.

I questioned "why don't we do this more often?" several times during the practice round and the first few holes LOL

then I remembered WHY we don't do it LOL
Moo wanted it to always be her turn
and Messy would break through whoever was holding her hand and run through the greens grabbing whatever ball she could and throwing it in the water. LOL

I was sort of impressed that SIL and her guy were not upset or angry with her
Really I was so happy I didn't have to be a crazy KWIM?

that is sort of what mini golf was like LOL in the end I sat with the girls singing " A Bushel and a Peck" over and over and over again

the best sound in the world I think is a little kid's hushed excited whispers "do it again mommy, do it again!"

ahh life is good!

putting together a desk

I used to put stuff together
I used to be quite handy
when I was a shipping/receiver at a store part of my job was putting together displays
I used to compete with other shipping/receivers at other branches via speaker phone to see who put it together first

somewhere along the way when I had kids and stopped working
I lost my ability to put things together
*shrug*
it got easier to ask DH to do it I guess

even the boy can put together stuff quite easily

when did I get so dependent on others?


anyway the good news is that last night I put together a desk, I've been waiting for Dh to put it together for me, but I decided last night I was not waiting for anyone
I want my desk put up so I can move my computer and have the ability to go online without having to go upstairs and block myself from the family. I'm tired of having to negotiate computer time.

it wasn't so hard

I think I won a little piece of my independence back

maybe I will put together that composter myself?

Ok a friend pointed out that I should blog about Mike Savage

You know I'm fairly new to the world of Autism
I'm fairly new to the whole real world of blogging
I stink at it actually LOL

but I never liked him and I never listen to his show
as long as people listen to the show and advertisers advertise
he will spew his ignorant crap out it's no different than the crap we get day to day
"learn how to parent" stuff like that

life is too short to stress over this
I might send an email or two out
I might have to listen to his show to figure out who to send it too LOL

But really it's not like I a m plugged into the blogging community
nor am I really plugged in to the Autism community
I sit on the outside as I always have been

I've been out here so long I am not sure how to go inside KWIM?

I don't think it is my social responsibility to blog about it

but here ya go

maybe I will learn

what is the secret?

How is it that everyone is organized, and I am not?

I'm trying and trying
I am even keeping a to do list every day, but it just keeps getting longer and longer and it's overwhelming

*sigh*
some days I really miss my December 98 mommy friends
today my heart aches for them. for some reason I can't stop thinking of them and I wish I could just go back and be there again.
*sigh*

so the happy stuff?

a sunflower waiting to open

LOVE it!

I know the moment I look out the window and see it open I will gasp, even though I know it is going to open, and I am pretty sure I know what it will look like I am still all tingly with anticipation!!!!

OPEN up please!

the time to show yourself is NOW :)

I LOVe my new hobby of gardening!
in the past I always gave up because the woodchucks, but now I feel that even if the woodchucks eat everything I can just go and buy new stuff..I found a local place where it cost next to nothing for plants.

even with the Japanese beetles and the slugs it kind of stinks for my poor purple cone flowers, but.... it's ok circle of life right?


OH did I tell you all that the loostrife is not blooming this year

not sure why looks like something is eating it

it is very strange to look out on the marsh and not see the sea of purple flowers that look so beautiful but you know it's bad because there is no place for the red wing black birds to nest. I do see a few purple spots here and there, but mostly it's rust colored dead plants

I should take a picture huh?


off to play with chalk

today's I did list LOL because the to do list is too long!

Today I got up at the crack of dawn to wrestle my kiddo out of bed and get her eating and cleaned and dressed and combed and braided and onto a big scary bus that she ran to when she saw it coming (yes the bus is only scary to me) I played the two year old version of memory and watched Harold and the purple crayon and signed the boy up for VBS next week. Helped him with his report on Harry potter, and helped him wiht hsi letter to hsi new teacher, called the town to find out about the composter they sell, got the girl off the bus, tore the house apart looking for the checkbook because they only take checks, called Dh and found out DH has the checkbook in HIS car called town hall and convinced them to take cash for the composter. Put the kids in the car and drove to the town hall to buy the composter, wrestled with the five year old who hates deep stairways down to the recycling department where she proceeded to grab at the stack of papers the woman had there on the floor she was filing...two year old ran down the hall, while i was chasing her the five year old climbed into someone's office and started spinning in a chair The guy was nice said "ah there is nothing here she can break" ROFL he obviously does not know our Messy LOL


apologized many times, wrestled the heavy composter to the van while directing the 9 year old who was holding the girls' hands got the kids in the car when the nine year old suddenly remembered that he wanted to recycle our old cell phone and he had it in the car could he run in and put it in the box....:( it's 90 degrees out and it's against the law in our town to idle the car, can you imagine the fine you would get if caught idling your car outside the recycling office door? LOL but how can you say no to the kid...so he jumps out of the van to go back in and I move the van to a shady spot and turn off the engine the girls are hungry, the girls are fighting over who is more hungry than the other one LOL thankfully the kid didn't have too much trouble I worry sending him places on his own...I am not good at it!!!! I have anxiety the whole time.

Drove the composter back home to unload it...girls are crying because they thought they were going to a restaurant drive to burger king where the boy wonders out loud if waiting in the drive thru line is just as bad as idling the car...the kid has a point so we park and get out of the car to get food, that is fun NOT! get the food, get in the car and drive to the pediatricians office, because you cannot refill ADHD meds you have to get the prescription and bring it to the pharmacy with a valid drivers license to drop it off (don't need an ID to pick it up) we find out that the car seat laws have changed and The boy no longer needs a booster seat (thanks for putting THAT poster up pediatricians office)

then we went to a store to buy a shower curtain liner, but the little one had a diaper explosion and we have to change her and it is real bad and I used the last of the wipes, so we walk over to eh grocery store to pick up wipes, we found worm poop there and bought it along with some powerade for DH and coffee beans...and some other things that I did not know I needed

75 dollars later we were walking out of the store and see a woman coming out of the hardware store with a little pool "we want a pool" OK I did promise them a pool which I can't find and I see they have them here so we go in, besides I need some eye hook locks with springs on them because messy has been locking the boy in his room, so we are hoping the oens with springs will be too hard for her, but still allow him the use of the locks

we got the locks and the boy found a cleaner that is supposed to be as good as "Bar Keeper's friend" and non toxic earth friendly...he talks me into to trying it...I will believe it when I see it, I am addicted to BKF We didnt buy the pool because I don't want to walk to the car carrying it and the girls the parking lot at thsi store is a lot busier than the one at town hall KWIM?

finally I get to home goods in search of a shower curtain liner. this is where the kids coping points ended "I want a..." and Messy was grabbing things off the shelf the isles are too skinny you can't put the cart in the middle she can reach the breakable stuff
I will say we did not break anything but I am sure the staff there was happy to see us leave
it was really awkward too the kids are screaming and I say to the ladies there "I'm sorry for the screaming kids" usually you get an understanding nod, or a smile, or even a "oh we have kids too" kind of thing, but I got the cold stare from all of them the cashier that rang my stuff up looked down right mean.

we were supposed to meet Dh at the carwash later, it was too early and I couldn't get DH on the phone and I was TIRED! so I went home and sprayed worm poop on my garden! my cell phone has no signal at home and Dh never even thought I would go home so he couldn't get in touch with me, and he came home...it's hard to change plans with this family so against my better judgment we got into two separate cars and went to the BBQ place...the plan is to meet at the car wash and wash both cars while getting everyone soaked in the process...a fun summer family activity Don't worry we only spray each other with the one that is just water LOL but I messed up by going home, so we ended up at the BBQ place where the kids got mac and cheese (I could make this at home for next to nothing) and I got chicken, DH a salad
by the time we finished eating we didn't have time for the carwash so it was dumb that we took both cars but...what can ya say? we got home got the kids to bed and loaded the dishwasher sorted through some paperwork and sorted laundry while watching the Daily show!


now I am off to the 24 hour laundry mat, yes I still have not got sears to come and fix mine...it's not just them I am too busy to be home all one day lately, LOL and I still have to drop off the prescription at the 24 hour drug store

how did people live before the 24 hour places?

Now this whole post seems like a complaint, but in between the hard stuff I realized something

I am darn lucky

my kids are awesome even when they don't seem it

when I was trying to wrestle the attachment on the hose to spray the worm poop messy came up and sat next to me, she looked me right int he eye and said "hi mommy, what's up you seem depressed" LOL

now ok yes she was quoting a movie but still it was darn adorable!
And Moo got all her matches right in memory and how can you be upset with Harold and the purple crayon??? Messy LOVEs school and we got an email and her old teacher had her baby and we got a picture :) how cool is that?

life is good even goign to the 24 hour laundromat is good when you go at night it's quiet with jsut the sound of the machines running once in awhile a car will drive by but it's very peaceful...plus I don't have to hurry it's nice.

yes life is good

tomorrow we are going to try and manage the sprinkler park
obviously it's not in my town sprinklers are not allowed LOL

Da Antsis is on da fwoowah!!!!

I had asked her if what color she was going to color in her rock (wock) that she had drawn


"Da Antsis is on da fwoowah!!!!"

any other person I would be thinking she was going to color the rock the same color as the floor

Not my moo
she is two she talks really good sometimes

and sometimes I can't figure out a word she is saying

this time since I live in this house and know we have an ant problem LOL
I know she was getting distracted by more than one ant walking on the floor :)

isn't she cute?

she colored the rock purple in case you were really interested LOL

Messy is LOVE LOVE LOVing the new school
I am actually SHOCKED she is doing so well
her teachers are shocked she is doing so well
and her home/school specialist is not shocked

she knows Messy is familiar with the building because we would go in there to pick up her brother
she knows that Messy is not seeing anyone from her old school so she is not having issues with the whole "I know you from there you should be there" bit

anyway I'm still not liking the bus

but she loves it and that is all that matters right?

the boy today came out of his cave and saw me cleaning the floor and said "mom can I do that it looks like fun"
and he is cleaning the floor and the walls..yes he is scrubbing the walls

really odd behavior for him but I ain't complaining :)

hope you all are doing well

I am trying to get used to getting up at the crack of dawn LOL

seperation anxiety (((shout out to Deb)))

First I want to thank you all for the advice
Deb my friend it is so good to "see" you I thought I had lost touch with you, I hope you and the girls are doing good!


now on to my post about separation anxiety

today was the first day of the summer special education program ( I hate that name)


who knew after all this time
after looking forward to the back to school
after wishing for the switch back to routine
watching the calendar tick and planning how I will work my time while she is in her summer school

who knew it would be so hard to put her on that big bus
I was surprised to see a real bus and not a van with a "school bus" sign on it
wish I had known I would have prepared her :(
she was the first pick up...I introduced myself to the driver, I silently wished he had an aid there
I strapped her in, once she was in she stopped crying and just stared into space

sorry it really hurt to leave her on that big huge monster bus

Jim from North Reading transportation...you take care of my baby

*cry*

ok yes it was me who had to get them to change the IEP to get her into this program LOL

should I buy my girl a weighted vest?

can't decided
in school when they put the vest on her she knows its time to settle down.

last night after DH took the kids out for an afternoon of playing at the playground, I spent the time cleaning, I really lost track of time(it was so nice to be able to clean without having to clean around kids) so when DH pulled in with the tired sleepy kids at 6 PM I had not even thought of making dinner, so we all got in the car and went to Bickfords. Bickfords is a family restaurant that serves breakfast all day, but also has other food, so it's great for us, DH can get his salad, I get my chicken sandwich, and the kids all get the JR meal (one egg two strips of bacon, and two pancakes) child heaven LOL It's also good because the kids can be a little loud and it's sort of expected KWIM? Well last night they had the redsox on all the tvs, and there was a bunch of big parties there, you know Messy feeds off of other people's energy So the huge group at the next table was loud and happy laughing excited....you know what that means right?

well back to the question about the vest.

could have used that vest last night at dinner when she wouldn't settle down to eat and ended up running into a coffee pot. Thank God it was the older waitress that knows us well, who was walking with it, because she saw her coming and quickly turned herself around and shielded messy form the hot coffee...no one got hurt...well the waitress said she wasn't hurt. Seriously she should make the highlight film on ESPN she did such an awesome job of preventing an injury

there is a debate if you use a vest too much the child becomes used to wearing it all the time and it is no longer effective, on the other hand she ran into a freaking coffee pot.

I've seen her thrashing about at school, and Susan her aid would slip on the vest and instantly she is calm and happy to be where she is. They also use the vest when it is time for her to eat her snack, otherwise she will just run all over the place.

I don't want to mess up what they are working on by overusing it.

on the other hand she ran in to a freaking coffee pot.

on the other hand they are kind of expensive


I don't know how to sew....seriously I got an "F" in sewing in school I'm like famous for sewing my apron to my shirt. I mean it's sort of like a phobia, like math phobia, only it's sewing phobia...seriously DH sews buttons on because I screw it up LOL

can I just get a vest with pockets and put heavy stuff in them LOL


what do you all think?

so I just read the headline on the news

Dow below 11,000 for first time in two years
Index slumps amid fears over mortgage finance firms Fannie, Freddie

oh man I gotta call my therapist!

Messy starts school on monday

The bus company has not yet called me to set up a pick up time

I called them and got a pleasant woman who told me that they are not yet done figuring out the route and we will be called later today

kind of last minute dontcha think?

*sigh*

dh is on his way home and he is taking the kids so I can have some kid free time

I will believe it when I see it

I am sure he was on his way out of the building and someone stopped him to ask him a question or to have him check out their computer problem

wow I am pretty negative

Messy is not happy about starting school, she isn't happy about anything new but she will be after a bit I am sure.

oh my town the only thing they do for special needs kids is a form with an assist to evacuation plan. how lame O can ya get? I wish I would have called them myself because I would have told them not to bother sending me the form, it's not like she will be home alone and need someone to evacuate her should there be a disaster.

:(

maybe I will call them myself and educate then on the need for a better program?

*sigh*

alright I just woke up and I might be grumpy but...

I looked at Rosie's blog and I was reading her "ask Ro" and someone sent in a rant I really felt the need to reply. Of course no one will see my reply because 7 million people send in stuff to "ask Ro" and the chances she will print mine is small so i will put it here :)

Ask Ro:

Kelly Writes:

Sorry, I must rant...WHY are people so lazy in a store parking lot that they won't put their carts in the cart corrals?? I've seen people struggle to put them up on a curb instead of walk 10 yards.

path of least ...

Ok it's one of those shoe moments.

maybe they hurt their foot.

maybe they used to work in a store and remember how much fun it was when it was their turn to go gather carts and they want to give someone that opportunity.

maybe they used to work in a store and between people putting away their own carts, and people using the self checkouts, and bagging their own groceries they lost their job.

maybe the last time they put the cart away, they pinched their finger and now have a fear of cart corrals?

Maybe they have kids and they know that they really like it when someone doesn't put the cart away because they can park near it and they don't have to walk over to a corral to get a cart to put their baby in, and they want to do the same for another mommy.

Maybe they just took their kids out of the cart and put them in the car, and they have a decision "put cart away and leave kids" or "leave cart here and not have to worry"

maybe they ARE lazy

there is no law about putting carts away, it's a suggestion
there is a law about letting your car idle
there is a law about walking away and leaving your kids in the car

yes folks someone once called the cops on me because I was standing outside my car leaning on it, talking to a friend while my kids slept in the car...and they thought that it was child abuse...thankfully the cop (a nice lady) thought it was funny LOL but what would she think if I had walked 10 yards away????

Ok seriously I need to go make some coffee

LOL

me on a soapbox

Remember when mom said "stop and think before you speak" and "if you can't say anything nice..."
you know right?

My mother used to say "never judge anyone unless you walked a mile in their shoes...then your feet will be hurting and you will remember that we shouldn't be judging people anyway" LOL

My mother was clever sometimes :)

ok so if you are out and about and you see someone pushing a stroller and the kid in the stroller is way too big for it, what do you think? you are thinking that the parents are just letting the kid be lazy, or you may even be thinking that parent's letting their "too big for a stroller" kids ride in a stroller is "the reason for childhood obesity" you may even look at the parent and see she is overweight and think "gee do you want your kid to be fat like you" ...yeah? it's ok there are no thought police...yet anyway...you can think whatever you want...but please please please do not say this too the parent because you do not know what is going on. maybe the child is special needs, maybe their insurance wont pay for a special needs stroller, maybe they are just getting by???


if you see a kid in a harness you can look at them and think "wow I'm so glad we don't treat our kids like DOGS" sure go ahead and think it, but please do not say it out loud!!!!!
surely you do not know what it is like for your autistic child to switch instantly from a "happy walking with you" kid to a "bolting away" kid!!! surely you have never searched stores, for a kid who hides, surely you never had your two year old (who should know better) wander away in central park, you have never had to make a store lock their doors so you can find your child hiding behind a carpet display, you have never called and called to a child knowing they wont answer you anyway!



Yes I put my "too big for a stroller" kid in a stroller I do it because sometimes she gets upset and sitting in a stroller calms her, I do it because sometiems it's hard trying to keep an eye on her and her sister at the same time, nine times out of ten the 2 year old is wanting out of the stroller anyway so it's empty.

and yes I put harnesses on my two and a half year old, and my five and a half year old

and I am proud to do it!

and I don't care what other people think

I like to keep my kids thankyouverymuch!!!

back from the Hospital

So she doesn't have any of the things they tested her for
no known metabolic disorders
no fragile X
no Rett
No Chromosome 16

we breath a sigh of relief

and we note that it all gets easier as we go along.
well not the driving in the city! next time we check and make sure we are not leaving the hospital the same time a redsox game gets out sheesh

I remember when I used to get upset when there were no answers
now I am wiser and I know that sometimes no answer is a good answer

and now I want to say how cool is Children's hospital Boston!!!!

my kid was upset when we left because she wanted to stay there and sleep there ROFL

Today we see the genetics department at Children's hospital

ETA a pic of me and messy that DH took




I have no idea what they could possible say

"her autism is genetic and you have it too!"
I got a letter from the hospital which conveniently was also on their website LOL I love copy/paste :) this is boring so feel free to look at this picture of a leopard and scroll past it :)


isnt he CUTE!

The member(s) of the team you meet with will ask questions about:

The pregnancy and birth history Developmental history Medical history, and Family History

Sometimes sensitive issues, such as adoption or exposures during pregnancy, may arise when gathering information on your child. Should there be something you do not wish to discuss with your child present, it may be helpful to bring someone to the visit with you. This person can sit with your child in the waiting room while the sensitive topic is discussed.

Next, the team member(s) will review the history and perform a specialized physical exam. Tests such as X-rays or an MRI may be ordered to help make a diagnosis. Genetic tests may also be ordered based on the history and/or physical examination. These are often blood or urine tests, and the sample can be collected the same day as your appointment. Referrals to other specialists or specialty clinics within the hospital may also be made. A follow-up appointment will be scheduled to discuss the results of any testing ordered and the results of other evaluations. For new patients, the first visit typically lasts about 1 hour. Return visits are usually shorter than this.

Information Received From the Appointment

The team member you meet with will discuss the findings of the evaluation with you. If genetic tests are ordered, the team member will explain in detail why the test is being ordered and the implications of the test during your visit. The results of any genetic testing will be fully discussed with you at a scheduled follow-up visit. The goal of a genetics evaluation is to provide a diagnosis. Unfortunately, a diagnosis cannot always be made despite the extensive evaluations performed. If a diagnosis can be made, we will share with you what is known about the condition, including the following:

Cause Pattern of inheritance Prognosis Recurrence risks Available resources Possibilities for prenatal diagnosis Testing for family members

The Genetics Program may provide ongoing care for you, or we may refer you to a specialist or specialty program within the hospital. If a diagnosis cannot be made, we will give you as much information as possible so your family can make the best decisions. In these instances, we often recommend a follow-up visit at some point in the future as our knowledge of genetics and available genetic testing is always increasing and certain genetic conditions become more apparent with time.

After the Appointment

A letter documenting what was discussed at your appointment, testing ordered, and/or referrals made will be prepared after your visit. This letter will become part of your or your child's medical record at Children's Hospital. A copy will also be sent to you and the referring physician. Your evaluation and diagnosis will not be discussed or shared with family members or professionals from other institutions without your written consent.

I love the part where they say having someone with you to sit in the waiting room with the child is helpful
ain't gonna happen I be a single mother today whoo hoo!

in response to me whining about him not doing anything My hubby took a thing off the list that he knows I didn't want to do :) so he is calling the police department to set up whatever thingy they do for kids with autism I guess they keep info on record for a quicker response should she take off, and possible a tracking device for her if necessary . I hate making phone calls, but I really hate calling the police department.

ah did I ever mention that since the big dig I do not enjoy driving in Boston, I mean I really am having trouble remembering where everything is.


stress stress

off we go

I got my peace shirt

I have wanted one for a long time, but it has always been "that much for just a plain old shirt!!!"

anyway the new me did some shuffling of the budget and ended up with enough to pay for my shirt and the really high shipping cost LOL

of course when I got it I realized why, tell me why are they using two big pieces of bubble wrap to ship a t-shirt?

silly!!!

anyway I put it on and it is a tad snug so now I have incentive to stay on my new healthy living program.
Now My boy wants one LOL
funny how I don't think twice about paying shipping for the other members of my family but for me it's always a shuffle????

I've been waiting for the shirt to take a picture of Day one of my 365

I'll be taking the photo later because now I have to get dinner ready freddy :)

garden troubles

OK I did buy some bulbs from a fund raiser and planted them in my yard a few years ago, but that was before we found the New England Wild Flower Society and learned about the importance of only growing plants that should naturally grow in your area.. and now we know why and I can't guarantee I have all the facts correct I am trying to learn how to do things right.
these lilies which are from Asia, have attracted these beetles, also from Asia, now these Beatles do not naturally occur in the US so there is no predator to get rid of them

and I do not use pesticides so how to I get rid of them?

Any advice?


it's very bright
I don't like using pesticides, but on top of that I live in a protected conservation land so we are not allowed to use them, so even if I wanted to go against my wishes to be pesticide free, I couldn't anyway



he boy checking out the bug
this is a bug vacuum but with the top off he can use the magnifying glass to look at the bugs



My hero

he caught 4 of them and is hunting more

could these be what has eaten the leaves off of the purple cone flowers?

anyone know?

thanks for all the gardening advice
some day I might be able to have a yard that doesn't look like a hillbilly lives here :)

From the weekend---protesters

One thing I found really happy and sad
we went to Bedford MA on Thursday night
was going to the whole foods store, lots of traffic, and we came upon the center square part of the town, obviously there was something going on for 4th celebration, I could see some people the green area. as the traffic moved along I got closer and saw that they were elderly people and they were carrying signs, I thought "that is sweet" then as I got closer I read the signs and they lifted my spirit so high!

"end the war" "Honk for peace"

I love this country I mean seriously these people looked like they had walked over from the nursing home, and they were protesting the war HOW totally 60s how totally AWESOME! it gives you hope to see something like that.

I reached for my horn and honked several times, when it dawned on me

traffic everywhere slow moving, lots of people

"Honk for peace"
HONK FOR PEACE

it was silent, I was the only car beeping
I looked into the cars that were coming in the other direction, the drivers were all looking forward, gripping their steering wheels LOOKING AWAY
when I came up the the center and I could see the man with the "honk for peace" he was looking at me, waving at me smiling but it seemed like a strained smile. maybe that sign is heavy?

I honked and honked and I was the only one.

kind of sad, I got to whole foods and met DH there and we went in
had our dinner, and shopped a bit and left the traffic was gone, and the protesters were gone

I wish I had pulled over and got my kids out and gone up to them and talked to them.

I don't know how anyone could not honk for peace!!!!!!!

my favorite bumper sticker that is on a car of someone that goes to my church :)

"When Jesus said "love thy enemies" he probably meant "don't kill them"

then a friend told me she saw one that said “You cannot love your enemies and bomb them simultaneously”.

I feel as though the War in Iraq goes against God and I am shocked at how many people don't agree.

Hi guys

sorry I was crabby earlier
yes I do know single parenting is hard, I didn't mean to imply it wasn't


some days are harder than others

did you know that a lot of the experts say that 80% of marriages with an autistic kid end in divorce.

sometimes I question that statistic And I do wonder if it's true
but I do know it's hard, and I do know that my husband wont even take a day off of work to go with me to an appointment with the genetics doctors...I wonder if I am just doing this all by myself anyway. And when five minutes after my comforting the boy when he was so upset because he doenst get to play baseball the husband yells at him for having to go to the bathroom,I wonder if we are even on the same planet.

Yes I toy around with it in my head
I love the guy and I wouldn't split with him just because I need a cup of coffee :)


I just want him to take visitation rights once in awhile :)

Do you ever wonder if it is worth is?

Today I am wondering
when DH remembers that we don't have any coffee and I offer to drive to the store to pick some up. "no I don't have time I'll just pick up some coffee while I am out" to witch he went on the computer for longer than it would have taken me to zip tot he store....what gives?

yeah thanks buddy

and thanks for taking all the kids stuff out of the car and throwing into the van....ever think it might be just a tad helpful to install the car seat for me?

then he says "are you ok?

"No I'm not ok I am tired of having 700 hours worth of stuff to do in a 24 hour time period, and i didn't really need "take the three kids into the grocery store to pick up coffee" to be one of them." his response was to leave so now we have the screaming because "we want daddy not mommy, daddy is fun mommy is yucky" or "how bout you go to work and daddy stay home"

yes I am not doing well this morning


It's going to be awhile before I can do this, sometimes i think maybe being a single parent might be easier...wouldn't it be nice to have a few hours every one in awhile when he has the kids and I can do laundry uninterrupted? or I can take a nap how pathetic am I?

*sigh*

Ok enough whining!

today Messy has a drs appointment more blood tests

I have to get caught up with my paperwork too I've been slacking off big time :(

I might not be around much this week
we have a few drs appointments this week.


I really want to blog about the weekend but I am so stretched for time right now so I will probably blog more later :)

now I am off on a quest for coffee and a drs appointment

and maybe the playground if it doenst rain


gosh I might just truck my butt to the Kmart and pick up one of those kiddie pools

so much for independence

here is a picture DH took of the fireworks


actually I did get what I wanted we went to the town parade we went to the town's country fair it was all pretty lame-O I think the rain kept people away *sigh*

we did see The boy's Sunday school teacher her boy is going to the same school next year as MB

after it was over we searched out fireworks as we learned our regular fireworks place was canceled due to construction in the area :(
ended up in Salem Ma
WOW what a show they had a concert that was so enjoyable then they had fireworks
like Boston pops without the rude crowd of people.

LOVED IT!
the only downside is the point of this post :(
My watching two girls who both wanted to be picked up to see the fireworks better
one husband taking pictures no chance for me to use my camera...and when DH saw that I was struggling he said "do you want me to stop taking pictures and help you?"

yeah the new me is supposed to say "YES" but the old me seeped back and said "no no you take your pictures"
*sigh*


Moo was Thrilled, even Messy had a blast! But MOO oh my goodness the cutest thing I ever ever saw was her after the first firework exploded and the colors burst in the sky she said "wow mama do it again!" *melt* then after each burst she let out a gale of giggles and laughter that had the whole crowd cracking up and she kept those laughs and squeals up until the very last one!
as we were walking back to the car she said "we not going back to the car we going back to the fireworks"
yes she woke up this morning asking to get in the car and drive back to the fire works LOL


it was so much fun I plan to go back next year!

July fifth I am back to the same old mousy person.
Dh spent hours doing his own thing while I was in charge of the kids...the same old pattern we have lived for years

But I did stand up and tell him that I wasn't happy, and where am I going to get my free time?

and I complained because I want the fencing from Lowes before it sells out! I've been asking him to pick it up since I can't fit it in the van with the kids in there, but he never has a chance KWIM So now is his chance to get what *I* want

so he is off to get the fencing for me, and then we are going to find some fireworks

of course he isn't taking the kids with him, but still...

baby steps right?

thoughts on a friend? and july fourth thoughts

she really is a good friend
sometimes I forget that
sometimes I avoid her because I feel as though I can't bad as good a friend to her as she is to me
sometimes I think she isn't such a friend, that she really wants what she wants only

yesterday she was sad, because her Mother in law took her kid with her on vacation
she wanted company, I packed up my three kids and went over
we stayed for a bit it was nice she didn't seem so sad, her boy is coming home tomorrow. I am equally understanding and jealous of her
no one takes my kids to Florida they wont even watch them while I go to the grocery store...except the one friend, she will. But I understand her sadness I would not be able to stand them to be away from me for so long. Yesterday she said that she thinks that my mother is the reason for my low self esteem! right out of the blue she said that,partly I want to say DUH and partly I want to know how she knows me so well when I don't really open up to her KWIM?
she also watched one of my videos and criticized me for shaking too much, I resisted the urge to tell her she sounded just like my mother She really is a good friend.

life is irony isn't it?


I am always of more than one mind
I feel so much at once sometimes it is hard to know how I really feel
I understand both sides in the Autism Debate
I understand both sides in most debates...well not politics so much, I just don't get McCain

I believe in Jesus, but obviously I don't go along with a lot of the things that other people who believe in Jesus do, to the point where I have trouble saying I am a Christian, I say "I follow the teachings of Jesus not Paul" ROFL My Christian friends pray for me to be saved. I think I am so "neener" LOL My non Christian friend call me "the religious one" Sometiems I am not happy about not fitting in, but right now I am feeling pretty good abotu having a handle on things

School starts in a few weeks

July ninth I have an appointment for Messy with the Children's Hospital
I have to say that I am no sure which appointment it is I forgot to write it down
So it is in Boston, but I am not sure if it is with epilepsy, genetic counseling, or hematology

Obviously I need to get more organized ROFL

I have decided that July 4th will be my new date
when I was a kid it was my favorite day of the year, because it was really the only time my siblings included me in play, we always went to a cousins house for the big family reunion and it was tradition every year! it was the only time I was treated like one of the kids, instead of "the baby" and I liked the cook out beach fun times stuff we did back then.

So next year on July 4th I will be able to post my yearly independence update

I will be more independent
I will be healthier
I will be more organized
I will be more happy

You will see I can do it!
I'm also going to try a 365 self portrait thingy

no promises there those things are hard :)

we went to the drive in last night

It was wonderful and awful all in the same time :)

we saw Wall-E
FANTASTIC!
I recommend it but I will say it had a few scary moments where the kids were a bit frightened
Moo was transfixed on the screen the whole time
Messy liked the first half of the movie and then she started losing interest and screaming her happy scream and jumping and generally trying to be a pain in the butt which kind of took away form it a little bit...such is life with Autism. To Dennis' Credit he is really trying to change, he kept her on his lap and and caressed her and sang to her and got her calmed down, it was nice to not have to be the one who always fixes everything for a change.

then we saw Get Smart
usually the kids are out for the second movie but the boy was awake, and I let him watch, there was a few times where I cringed, but the kid is nine years old, I can't shelter him forever...I tried that LOL
it was brilliant, and a let down all in one
it was good but it seems to me it was a bit short on the mark, I wonder how it is doing, I loved the tv show, and when I heard Steve Carell was going to play Maxwell Smart I was really looking forward to it. I have never seen his stuff in the show he does, but I remember him from the Daily show. I liked the movie but I think I was so looking forward to it that I got let down.

and the boy and his dad went down to the river and hung together before the movie.
I was torn because the new me didn't want to sit for that time with the girls while he went and had fun, but I also thought it was a good dad and son moment *shrug* plus the sox were playing on the radio so I gave in. I just can't stand it when he thinks leaving me in the car with the girls is a good idea because taking them with him is hard....I usually take them with me and deal *sigh* I'm getting better, but I am not there yet.


the junk food was good
so much for the diet Ha HA

seriously I can't go on like this anymore
I need to get healthy

*sigh*
looked for a picture of my mother and I can't find any
:(

wonder if my sister has one


I'll ask

Tomorrow is independence day in the US

the old me would have done something stupid like go on a hike or to a park
the new me, the one who is speaking up for herself

the new me told him that I wanted to either go to the family get together with my family OR Go to the parade and festivities our town does every year, I told him that we were not going to do anything other than one of those two things
the advantage of both - the family thing is at someones house, there will be a pool and lots of food~~~~ the town thing will be a good social thing we can do for the kids they might see some of their friends there since its the thing everyone in town does The negative stuff my family he doenst like, and Messy wont pee in a port-a-pot


he chose the town - even though he hates parades, he hates my family more LOL
wish us luck with the port-a-pot

So it is a true independence day for me, since I got say in what we do :)

I know you guys think it's weird but it's a big step for me, I am not going to be a mouse forever, but it is taking me time to remember that I can KWIM?

I don't want to Survive! I WANT TO LIVE!!! (that is a line from Wall-E)

sleep and dreams (I feel chatty today)

how can she go so long without sleep?

I mean come on kiddo
she finally crashed at the top of the stairs
wrapped in a huge comforter in 90 degree temps
maybe she doenst like the AC?

*shrug*

thanks for the advice
I am thinking about the lock, but it scares me so much what if there was a fire?

I let the boy stay up and watch the redsox lose to the Devil Rays
HUH? that team is really good this year. The Sox are really missing Big Papi

easy going Manny is having anger issues weird....I want so much to call them and ask them to have him checked for diabetes LOL I'm sure with all his doctors they thought of that huh?

enough about the redsox huh?

Rest in Peace Esmin Green! I am sure there is more love and caring where you are now than ever could be where you passed.

Lets talk about my dream! I have so many celebrity dreams it's weird huh? they always try to teach me a lesson, like after my father died and he and Jim Morrison (a very unlikely pair) kept coming to me and trying to get me to understand that I needed to lighten up. Or when Patrick Swayze kept telling me that I needed to quit smoking, Or Jeff Goldblum back in 1998 telling me that I didn't have the flu I was pregnant ROFL there are so many more of these dreams but you guys probably think I'm bonkers anyway so I wont go into more detail LOL it's almost like the subconscious me thinks I wont get the message unless it comes from some one famous LOL Well I had another one of those dreams.

I had a dream last night about Rosie O'Donnell and the kung Fu Panda
it was kinda weird, ok all my celebrity dreams are weird they are always a weird mixture of the past and present! in the dream I was hiding under a chair the way my daughter does and I was watching a fight I had seen before as a teenager, when my brother's girlfriend got PG and her family came over to "talk" to my parents...they started fighting it was very weird my sister was standing in the corner with her child on her hip and someone was punching her...

in real life I always felt guilty about not running to help...instead I stayed in the chair and I never thought to hide under the chair I just sat there and watched the whole thing like a movie...pass the popcorn! but I remember at this point when I saw my brother pick up a knife I ran to the other room and didn't see what happened until they left, I mean no one got stabbed so I know everything worked out but I didn't see what happened either I think I was 14.

in the dream the panda poked his head and said "the secret is you" so I got up the nerve to go and help, I climbed out of the chair and the panda turned into Rosie, but it was the character she played in "beautiful Girls" She kissed her hand and blew it to me and said "Hi sweetie don't be afraid" then she went over to the fighting and grabbed the knife out of my brother's hand and turned to the group and said "you all should be f*cking ashamed of yourselves" then she grabbed the little one and handed him to me and said "see ya dearie" then she turned into herself and gave me the peace sign and said "peace out" and walked away as the character shaking her hips. the funny thing was the family that was fighting started leaving at that point and the father bumped into Rosie pushing his way out and she said "what? I gotta wait for you?" lol I think she said that in a movie to a car LOL

I am officially crazy huh?


anyway what is Rosie trying to tell me? I will say that one of the reasons I like Rosie O'Donnell so much is that she reminds me of my mother, like eerily so someday I will scrounge up a picture of her so You can see :) maybe Rosie did what I had wanted my mother to do, and maybe my mother DID do that? I don't know

But I think the message this time is that I need to stop feeling guilty about things in the past I have too much guilt

Maybe the message is telling me that I need to become the mother I didn't have and protect my kids...not that my kids are being punched but...If History repeats itself I will have the dream a few more times before it will go away, and probably Rosie will play a different character :)

LOL

rude awakening

Well I had trouble sleeping last night (I know that is not news)
finally got to sleep around 4ish
around six the alarm went off
not the alarm clock
the shrill alarm that screams through the house alerting us if there is an intruder or a fire
we must set this alarm all the time since Messy has learned how to open doors and unlock doors
Messy doesn't sleep (wonder where she gets that from) and has been known to go outside at odd times

you would think I would be used to the sound of it now

um no
the answer would be no!

Yes Messy opened the door downstairs and went outside

MOMMY thought there was a fire and was looking for Messy upstairs
I grabbed the little one and was searching for Messy when I finally decided I would get moo out and come back for messy..I was a bit irritated at DH for not helping save our kids lives

I yelled to DH "where is she?"
he said "Huh she is downstairs" because he of course was not fuzzy brained as I was LOL

thankfully everything is alright!

in the end I am still irritated a bit with DH
we should not become complacent
it could have been a fire
it could have been a burglar
it could have been our autistic daughter running off as she has been known to do on rare occasions

instead it was what it usually was her out picking flowers in the yard

thank GOD!

I just simply do not have time

to learn how to edit videos

*sigh*

help I need 4 more hours in each day ROFL

ok I guess I can give up tv

but not the sox gotta have my sox :)

=I took all the words that people sent in to the guest book and put them in wordle.net

SO today I want to talk about Messy and summer school

her school will be from 8 AM to 10:30 AM
she will have speech therapy and Occupational therapy
She will go out on the play ground every day
she will have some classmates the same as she had before
here Home/School specialist will be seeing her
it will be from July 14th to August 8th not 6 weeks but what can you do? we pick our battles right?

if she wasn't confused enough already...it will be at her brother's school not the school she went to before, and not the school she will be going to this September

change is good huh?

So we are starting today to take her to the school's playground

once she starts school there we will start going to the playground of the school she will be going to next year.

in the short time that she has been out of school, as much as I have tried to keep a routine
as much as I have tried to keep things going and keep kids busy :(

she has almost completely reverted to her old self :(

ok not that bad but still she has temper tantrums again
she is more inward, less social, and she has been having poop adventures again JOY JOY

what can I do different?

Does anyone have any ideas?

thanks

There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Sometimes I think that Moo is the smartest 2 year old in the world
then I just remember that she is normal and it's Messy that has issues :(

happy and sad at the same time KWIM? she is normal
I know you are not supposed to use the word normal, it's not PC
she is typical
this morning I was handing pop tarts to the girls
the boy was sitting at the table eating one already
I gave one to each girl and Messy looked around and in her slow robot speak she slowly said out who I had given a pop tart too, and she ended with her brother to which I reminded her that he is a big kid and he got his own pop tart. I smiled at her, and she smiled back at me, and I turned and headed for the living room. Behind me I heard a tiny little two year old voice saying "Hey I a little kid, but I not a baby I a big girl" ROFL

cute

saw Kung fu panda today

you know I thoguht it looked rather stupid when I saw the ad, but several people online said it was good...we were planning a trip to the drive ins tonight and the choices were "Kung Fu Panda and The Incredible Hulk" or "Wall-E and Get Smart"

Ok I wanted to see "Kung Fu Panda and Get Smart" but you can't switch screens

plus the rain was predicted so we decided to do Chunkys which is a cinema pub we took in the matinee

it's good I recommend it :)

it really was a good movie for the boy to see

Anyway that is my plug for "Kung Fu Panda" who woulda thought LOL

for Jo my sister/friend I'm so sorry for your loss

a teddy bear
a blond hair
a mother's tear

a race car
a glance afar
a shooting star

a look to the sky
a question- Why?
a Dragon fly











we miss you Donny


sorry I am not sure of the authur

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?" Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. "That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second water bug. "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." "We promise," they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why."

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. "I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went." And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.

Thank yuou Susie

I tried to respond to you before but blogger was giving me fits.

weird after all that was going on my only outlet was letting me down too.

Verizon has repaired the problem

apparently we are in a phone war or something, we switched form Comcast to verrizon and comcast came and took their box, cutting our line
the idiots but it wasnt just the verizon guy talking we could see the box gone and the line...

anyway it took all of five seconds for the guy to fix it

So apparently everything is fine now *shrug*
Susie thank you for responding Thank you for being here for me

hmm tonight I am not in a good spot

it's weird
my husband left and went to a store
my cell phone I left in the car
my van is in the shop

I wanted to call him and ask him to pick me up something but
my phone wont work
no line
no dial tone
nothing

no cell phone
no regular phone


now here is something you probably don't know about me
I really really don't like using the telephone
it borders on a phobia most anxiety attacks I get are because I don't want to make a phone call

my therapist I used to see, way back when I was super depressed in connecticut
she would make me hold a phone during our sessions

that was silly, but she was rather fascinated with it *shrug*

so we have someone (me) who hates phones
and she (me) is freaking out because she has no phone

*sigh*

I have no way of calling anyone
of communicating with anyone

I miss having a message board of people who I could talk to in such cases
:(

I have google talk like an idiot
no one is ever signed on

I have no one

I am alone

did you hear George Carlin died?

does anyone even read this thing?

I know I said I woudl post every day but...

some days are hard to get one out,
some days I want to post 8 times LOL

follow along if you can :)

Prayers for you Jo
if you are reading this I love ya!